I had to share this. It's so reminiscent of the backwoods wisdom I grew up with. I say that with love. I'm not proud of this but when people question me, I question myself. Come to think of it, maybe I am proud of myself. I've never been so stern as to think there's not room to grow, but that room to grow can quickly turn on you. When someone takes a willingness to listen and learn and turns in to a way to manipulate, have you think thoughts of doubt that aren't actually yours. Something they'd like to plant in you out of earnest insecurity in themselves. Today, I'd like to help those people find a bit of themselves, and in effect help myself; and again in effect use the energy and space that's been allotted to me to bring a tiny bit more peace and introspection to the world.
On a side note, someone found my blog today by Googling, "I want to make love to you at work." I hope you get that chance, sir or madam, I really do. I hope your fantasies meet up with reality and it's all you've ever wanted.
There's a full moon in Pisces tonight it's making us all a bit wacky and introspective — my moon sign is Pisces. So, I guess I'm destined to always be that way. There are worse things, my friend. There are worse things. I don't know about you but I bought two new notebooks and I'm going to sit down in the grass and write, mosquitos be damned.
Before I do that, I'll finish my thoughts about uncertainty and my trusting nature. While watching Hit Record on TV today, which is amazing fyi, I heard Joseph Gordon-Levitt say, "I think the difference between fantasy and reality might be another fantasy." You're going to have to watch the full episode to really get it into context. I think it's the second episode. You'll figure it out. It's the one about fantasy. I think that is the nature of uncertainty and maybe all doubt — the possibility that the person I am may just be a fantasy and if you fantasize something different about me then I start to entertain your fantasy... well, then I guess we're both just doing a silly dance that doesn't serve either of us. So, what I'm saying is, abandon all hope. Basically, give up now.
That's not what I'm saying. That's a joke. A bit of filler, between the rationale and the point which is in the old adage, "You are what you say you are." I'd take it even further and say, you are what you feel you are. The world is what you feel about it. Walk around tense and angry at people and you'll likely encounter the same. Expect folks to be kind and treat you with respect and you'll definitely take less shit and honor kindness in others. What are kindness and respect though? Well, those boundaries are for you to decide. If it makes you uncomfortable, or causes you the kind of questioning yourself that brings unnecessary hesitation, if it elevates someone else over you; it's likely not kind or respectful and it's likely you don't need it.
... and I haven't even gotten to the exercise I'm talking about.
Basically I want to get you to the five things that make you, feel like, you, in the hope that it's as enlightening for you as it was for me. If we can all just focus on what our personal values and desires are, then cultivate more of those in the world. Then we are basically set. We'll all slip back a little here and there, but it's not an all or nothing thing. It's not a diet. You don't have to start being perfect on Monday. Also, don't diet, read this instead, unless it doesn't align with your values. In which case, who am I to make you feel small? Just some stranger on the internet, throwing out thoughts and ideas for the world to see, read, hate, love, criticize, or aspire to. I've had all of the above and then some I could never imagine come to me but I focus on love and aspiration — at least in my fantasies of myself I do.
Before you start thinking I'll never make good on my promise. I'll share the very, simple yet profound exercise, shared with me by way of Overcoming Underearning, which came to me by way of Lindsey Lewis, a very thoughtful friend who keeps pulling me from the trenches, which I'm happy to say get shallower with every passing day.
Image source: Overcoming Underearning
- Circle 10
- Narrow it down to 5
- Put them in order of importance
- Live your life accordingly
Mine go like this:
The more you can feel and align to your personal values, the better off you'll be. The fantasies that others keep of you can easily be dismissed by the fantasies you keep for yourself. Tell me I'm selfish and I'll tell you I value freedom, but not without truth and kindness. If that seems selfish to you find a friend with different values. And not begrudgingly because it takes all kinds to make the world go 'round. If your core values fall anywhere on the list I shared above — whether or not we get along on a personal level — I'd say you're doing just fine. May you find all the peace, love, truth, kindness, and freedom you're seeking.